I got HOPE.

well, this is what i get today fellas. hope. but when i got hope, it started to be fade again. i just dont understand with all this thing. well, maybe its true that Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man. i dont know? maybe?
maybe i dont really understand what her needs. well, eventually, i am a losers. eventhough i did not look like one, but i still a loser. well u get me right. i always lose everything that i love. once before. FRIENDS than HER. what can i say. everybody is leaving me as i am one of the biggest loser alive. but, i try to keep on going. No matter how bad my heart is broken, the world does not stop for my grief. ayte.
but when time passes by, i'm starting to realise that i'm losing something that is very important for me. which is the most precious and my point of life. i just cant see where should i go, what should i say, what should i do. well man, this hurt a lot! making me confuse each time we talk.
at first, i started to beg her, beg for her love for me. then, i starting to realise. its her who made the decision. it is her who suppose to make the decision again this time. cause i know i always open for her. i just have to lead her. show her how much i love her. i cannot just begging at all time. what ever it is, i do love you eyka. forever will.