i will not ever, control your life

its been a while since i wrote in this blog. hee. well, surprisingly, i miss to write in here. haha! i never did before oh. lol.

well, u did sent me the message syg.
so, after this. i tak dah nak kacau2 idup u. all u need to do is. bgtau i
i takkan halang u nak watpe lagi
u yang ckp jgn masuk campur dalam idup you kan
m.. nvm me.
bye.

Finally

Finally.. I've found someone that I could really love. Someone I could rely on. Someone I could trust. Someone who is as passionate as I am. Someone almost perfect to me. Someone who accepts me as I am. Someone who really cares about me. Someone who is really sweet. Someone that really pays attention towards me. Someone that I could share everything with. Someone that motivates me. Someone who really understands me. Someone that appreciates. Someone that I could settle my heart with. sigh.. That someone is Nur Syafiqah Binti Kamarudin a.k.a my love. I've been quite an ignorant because I didn't want to fall too deep but without realising it.. I've actually have. Early of the relationship, I told her that i dont want she or me break up no matter what.



i will be a guy:
1)A guy that you are able to drag anywhere for shopping and he wouldn't complain but he'll help you to decide what to buy.
2)A guy who you can talk about anything to at anytime and cry on his shoulder as much as you want.
3)A guy who would help you to cook in the kitchen or rearrange your room
4)A guy who would ensure you that he'll be there to always support you, care for you and love you.
5)A guy who says the right words at the right time when you want to hear it.
6)A guy who knows how to take good care of you
7)A guy who will loves you no matter what happened
8)A guy who always want you, and no other woman can take your place
9)A guy who is willing to do anything just for you without complaining

the one and only i will love forever is you eyka, please dont doubt me. because i truly into you.

I love the fact the I can talk to you for hours and never be bored. I even love the fact that I can see you all the time and always have fun. You're so adorable when you're being all cheeky and it never fails to make me smile. I feel so happy and I love being with you. You make me feel like a puppy in love. I love watching the way your body moves especially when it dances with mine. The way that you touch and tease me, makes me feel so alive. When you hug me, I wish you would never let me go and when you kiss me, I wish it would never end. I Love You. I would have never told you this but you read my heart. =)

well, thats it for today bla bla bla
;p i'll write again later.

I got HOPE.

well, this is what i get today fellas. hope. but when i got hope, it started to be fade again. i just dont understand with all this thing. well, maybe its true that Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man. i dont know? maybe?
maybe i dont really understand what her needs. well, eventually, i am a losers. eventhough i did not look like one, but i still a loser. well u get me right. i always lose everything that i love. once before. FRIENDS than HER. what can i say. everybody is leaving me as i am one of the biggest loser alive. but, i try to keep on going. No matter how bad my heart is broken, the world does not stop for my grief. ayte.
but when time passes by, i'm starting to realise that i'm losing something that is very important for me. which is the most precious and my point of life. i just cant see where should i go, what should i say, what should i do. well man, this hurt a lot! making me confuse each time we talk.
at first, i started to beg her, beg for her love for me. then, i starting to realise. its her who made the decision. it is her who suppose to make the decision again this time. cause i know i always open for her. i just have to lead her. show her how much i love her. i cannot just begging at all time. what ever it is, i do love you eyka. forever will.

heart broken

You did it again. You broke my heart again. You promised you wouldn't do that.Promised you'd always be here for me. Promised you'd never hurt me. And I trusted you. Again. its been a few time she did this to me.. YES! i love her! but what should i do?? i know i cant be mr.perfect everyday. i am just an ordinary teenagers loving you syg. please dont do this to me.. i really2 loves you nomatter what happened
mm.. :(

what do i feel now?
she means so much to me. I just wish she
knew because when I’m around hers
the say is a different blue and when she talks to me
my knees begin to shake.
The last thing I want is another heartbreak.
If she would love me like I love her
I could tell her that I will always be true
but when I try to talk, I just don’t know
what to say because I know she doesn’t feel the same way.
i just dont know dear.


Without you I'm not okay.. without you I've lost my way...my hearts stuck in second place....god knows how much i loves you. please understand my situation, god, please show me what to do. darn! i'm to down and to weak for this! is it the right decision we're making, eventhough i know deep inside me, i dont want this, but what can i do? i cannot love you if you did not feel the same way. please, dont let me hang like this, stuck without answers i needed! You mean so much to me. I just wish I could tell you now but I would never be able to find the words without breaking down.